For years, I thought I was a pretty relaxed person. “Nothing gets to me,” I would tell people. I would let people walk all over me because I thought I just didn’t care about others’ opinions. Saying that I wasn’t bothered by anything made me a cool, non-judgemental person (or, so I thought). I thought I exuded tranquility.
Then, one day, I realized, I’m NOT relaxed. At all. I am a giant ball of anxiety. I can’t stand confrontation, and God forbid I go out into the world without make-up, because someone might tell me I look ugly (some college boys are real jerks).
After some soul searching and a few breakdowns, I realize that while I’m a bit of a basket case, it’s OK.
I’m in my child-bearing years and I can’t wait to have children of my own. But, sometimes I sit and obsess over what could happen to those beautiful babies if I bring them into the world.
I did this for months and drove myself absolutely loony with all the “what ifs.” I finally came to a conclusion a short while ago,
If I let the “what ifs” control my life, I’ll never do anything. I’ll never experience the wonderful, heart-warming moments that a baby can bring, and I’ll never be what my kids need me to be.
Thus, I have made a decision. This coming year, 2018, will be the year of tranquility for me. I’m going to figure out how to manage my stress, be a good aunt and babysitter, and at some point, a mom.
How am I going to do this?
First, I’m going to be more active. I live with fibromyalgia, so it’s hard for me to want to get up and jump around, but I know it will help.
Second, I’m going to try meditating. It seems silly to me now, but if it helps my health, what have I got to lose?
Finally, I’m going to spend all the time I can enjoying my nieces. They’re only little for so long. I need to love them with all I’ve got and be there for them, as that will bring me the most joy.
I believe that if I implement these steps, it will put me on the path to the serenity and tranquility I’ve been desiring for so long.
I’m sure I may struggle some days, where I’m a nervous wreck (if you are next to me in a traffic jam, sorry in advance!), but I look forward to this journey.
Do you want to join me in my Tranquility theme this year?
Do you have a different theme that you would like to apply to your year?
Let us know in the comments below or shoot us an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Have a Happy and Tranquil New Year!
Meghan recently graduated Central Washington University with her B.A. in Education, specializing in Early Childhood Education and Development and is a certified K-12 teacher. She is fluent in American Sign Language (ASL) and is interested in expanding her knowledge of other international sign languages.